Rewriting My Understanding of Shamanism: A Journey Through Childhood, Plant Medicine, and Faith

Before my own experiences with plant medicine, I held a very narrow idea of what shamanism was. I thought it referred exclusively to South American curanderos — mysterious figures from distant jungles working with ayahuasca and other master plants. I had no idea that the term shaman actually describes anyone who voluntarily enters altered states of consciousness to heal, guide, or serve their community. It is a cross-cultural phenomenon found in spiritual traditions across the world.

As I reflect on my childhood, I now see that altered states were not foreign to me at all. Growing up, I attended many Islamic ceremonies known as Mawlid, where music, chanting, and prayer would sometimes carry people into trance-like states. At the time, I didn’t have the language to understand what I was witnessing, but today I recognise the striking parallels between those moments and the ritual states described in shamanic traditions.

And yet, despite these early exposures, I grew up believing that “medicine people” were dangerous — people to avoid. The stories around spirits, jinn, and sorcery shaped my early perceptions long before I ever stepped into my own healing path.

Everything shifted when my shadow work led me to plant medicine. Over the past four years, I’ve worked closely with shamans and ceremonial guides who use psychoactive plants in ways that indigenous cultures have done for generations. I cannot fully explain what these practitioners do or how they do it, but I know this: they were powerful conduits in my healing. Their presence, their steadiness, and their ability to hold space while I unraveled internally became as important as the medicine itself. Research often describes this role as a central pillar in shamanic healing, and in my experience, that feels true.

As I continued with my studies and read more widely, my understanding of shamanism softened and expanded. It changed from a fearful idea of “magicians working with dark spirits” into a recognition of something far more nuanced: healers, guides, and keepers of liminal spaces — those in-between realms where deep emotional and spiritual work can unfold. In these spaces, my own inner process could meet their experience, their intuition, and their presence in a way that supported transformation.

Still, shamanism remains a mystery to me. With all my reverence for the practice, I am also aware of its shadow side. In many cultures, the same skills used for healing can also be used with harmful intent, and the line between healer and sorcerer is not always clear. This duality is an important part of shamanic traditions, especially in regions like the Amazon, where “dark shamanism” is openly acknowledged.

What surprised me most recently, as I watched lecture videos for my transpersonal psychology course, was how strongly my old conditioning resurfaced. I felt triggered. I judged. I found myself questioning my own experiences as I sat with the discomfort. And perhaps because it is the month of Ramadan - a time of fasting, reflection, and returning to God; I am more aware of the tension I hold inside. I am learning to navigate my love for plant medicine, my respect for the shamans who have supported me, and my modern Islamic values.

It is not a contradiction I have fully resolved yet, it is a bridge I am still learning to walk.

But maybe that is the essence of the journey: to allow the questions, the discomfort, and the mystery to shape us, just as powerfully as the moments of clarity and healing.

References

• Dobkin de Rios, M. (2003). A hallucinogenic tea, laced with controversy: Ayahuasca in the Amazon and the United States. Praeger.

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• Eliade, M. (1964). Shamanism: Archaic techniques of ecstasy. Princeton University Press.

• Harner, M. (1990). The way of the shaman. HarperOne.

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• Laughlin, C. D. (2018). Consciousness in a nutshell: The origins of mind and perception. Columbia University Press.

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• McKenna, T. (1992). Food of the gods: The search for the original tree of knowledge. Bantam Books.

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• Noll, R. (1985). Mental imagery cultivation as a cultural phenomenon: The role of visions in shamanism. Current Anthropology, 26(4), 443–461. https://doi.org/10.1086/203298

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• Taves, A. (2009). Religious experience reconsidered: A building-block approach to the study of religion and other special things. Princeton University Press.

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• Walter, R., & Fridman, E. (2004). Dark shamanism: Amazonian witchcraft and sorcery in the upper Amazon. University of Texas Press.

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• Winkelman, M. (2010). Shamanism: A biopsychosocial paradigm of consciousness and healing. ABC-CLIO.

• Videos references from lecture 1.6

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• Documentary - Shamans Of The Amazon (2002) - Dmt, Ayahuasca, Mckenna - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbs9mVtHIYQ

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• Complete Inuit shaman life story 1922 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxdqjn1sFM8

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• Zulu sangoma and spirit healing ceremony - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4UQb0zNFtM